The coalition have kind of fucked up the whole vaccination rollout, leaving much of Australia back in lockdown purgatory with the vague hope of maybe, y’know, not dying from COVID-19 while we wait for vaccines which may or may not ever arrive thanks to a government who may or may not have lied about even ordering them in the first place- paired with a staunch refusal to invest in any form of on-shore manufacture (in any industry, that one’s not solely limited to life-saving medications).

Admittedly this is… still kind of my ideal lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, the financial instability isn’t great, but billionaires are having a straightup space-race in the middle of a literal pandemic, so I’m willing to bet the financial instability has a lot more to do with capitafeudalist ideals devaluing manufacturing skillsets (which mean nothing in a country with no manufacturing industry anyway) (and would likely still land me below the poverty line even where it is a viable career option- because ultimately: human rights violations are hard work and everyone else deserves to be violated).

People aware of my situation will frequently ask: “What do you want to do?” Which is well meaning enough, but ultimately I’m burned out to the point of just want to be left alone in a way that the average citizen is forgiven for interpreting as unhealthy.

I’m tired.

Leaving the house necessitates the unsustainable performance of a character that is agreeable, helpful, loves warm sunny days, misses going out on the weekends, and can’t wait to ditch these damn masks am I right?!

Night feels like the only time I really get to myself; it’s quiet, dark, cold, and the only people talking to me are people I actively want to be talking to- a presumably mutual feeling when there is little obligation to respond to any given form of communication at 3am.

No doubt falling asleep on the couch wedged between two cats, a Nintendo, and the crushing weight of existential apathy is doing wonders for my posture.