Bad as the world can get none of it’s permanent.

Let me prepare for the summer… by throwing up everywhere.

Tech Support suggests I should maybe just stop eating things that are visibly rancid, but he vastly overestimates my sense of self-preservation while equally underestimating the complicated relationship I have with food.

Besides, it isn’t as though my appetite for mouldy strawberries is at all diminished during the winter months, so do forgive me if I’m unwilling to lay blame solely on diet.

Point is, it’s been kind of a bad time recently.

So a few weeks ago, when a friendo messaged with a link to a GDC talk by John Romero regarding the history of id Software, that was exactly what I needed. Classic id Soft feels never don’t bring me joy. Heck, my first VR experience was playing Doom with my brother in the mid 90’s on what I’m fairly certain was a Forte VFX1. Though the memories are hazy at best (Where were we? Who did it belong to?), I distinctly remember the handheld “Cyberpuck” controller, thought that shit was the wildest mouse I’d ever seen. Blew my heckin’ mind. Wish I could show 7yr old me a Cintiq, the concept of a stylus would probably put that kid in cardiac arrest.
But that’s neither here nor there.

What a delight, when the popularity of the Commander Keen series is mentioned around the 6-minute mark, to see a handful of cosplayers pop up in the accompanying slideshow, and find my own emo trashpanda face amongst them.

Commander Keen
It’s these selfies I took before PAXAUS’13.

Tears of Real Emotion™ just about pooled in my cold dead eyes. Okay, maybe not quite that far, but I was rather chuffed.

In any case, if you’re down for some PC gaming history I highly recommend giving it a watch:

Would you sell yourself for fame?

Last weekend’s Fetish Expo went well. Or, at least, the fashion segment did, much of my day was spent between hair, makeup and dressing, leaving very little time to explore the rest of the event until after that modelling business was all wrapped up- by which time many of the vendors were beginning to pack their wares away. So I can’t really comment on the rest of the event. At least… not without a good deal of lies and embellishment.

A sad turn of events indeed, being that I’d spent the preceeding week loudly proclaiming the vast quantity of dicks I was planning on purchasing, only to return home empty handed.

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Your picture perfect vanity.

Greetings friends, fiends, furs and foes!

Cherry Pie Millinery - preview selfie
Preview-selfie from last week’s rehearsal.

On Saturday the 24th of September I will be stepping out of the closet to join Von Chibi Designs and Cherry Pie Millinery once again, this time at the Fitzroy Town Hall for the fashion show during OzKinkFest’s 2016 Fetish Expo.

The doors will be open from 12noon with tickets costing around $25 each.

It all looks set to be a kinky day, so if you’re in Melbourne, over the age of 18, and into that sort of thing, maybe come check it out?

Or don’t, it’s really not up to me. You do you. Safe, sane, and consensual, my friends! Safe, sane, and consensual.

Mostly I just want to buy me some dicks.

Wait, what?

A habitually nervous reaction.

It seems, despite the genuinely suspicious quantity of condiments lining my pockets, I have made it back to Australia relatively unscathed* after spending the better portion of August in Japan.

I caught one of these in Animal Crossing.
“How is the weather there?” My father had asked.
“Cicadas.” Was my response.

Why on earth did I agree to cross the equator during August? That’s rhetorical, by the way; 35°C days with 95% humidity and a spot of mild typhoon toward the end there. Natural disasters are one thing but heat and I do not agree. Next time let’s shoot for February.

The Helpercats survived my absence (thanks to my parents for keeping an eye on them); though admittedly Claude screamed for 12 straight hours when we got back- only stopping due to the loss of her voice, while Hobes actively attepted to incapacitate me via concussion with the ferocity of his smooches.

luggage-hammock
Claude forgave my absence upon the realisation that luggage is comfortable for sits.

It is good to be home.
It was good to not be home.
It was, in many ways, frightening, to spend an entire month in direct contact with another human being, even if it was with the one I’ve been living with for the past six years, who already knows too much anyway. Though surprisingly, it was only quite recently that he genuinely managed to shame one of my hobbies.

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Feel the eyes of someone looking in on you.

The saga continues.

New servers do not function the same way as the previous servers, nor do I personally have direct access to their inner workings (which is arguably a smart choice, given my track record). Just how different could one server be from another?

Please don’t answer that, really, I wouldn’t understand anyhow, explaining it would be a waste of both our time.

Long story short, there will be more down-time for the blog at an undetermined point in the future because it turns out WordPress legitimately does, in fact, want to fight me. Mainly due to a miscommunication on my part with the long-suffering individual who does have direct access to the servers, over what exactly it is that I do over here.

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Your lord and master is my dog, let me feed him.

Never has the description of my life as a series of loosely strung together failure and disappointment been more relevant than with this ongoing clusterfuck of server migrations. Is that even an appropriate use of the term? Server migration? In my defence, chickens are not known for their migration habits.

Email forwarding has not been functioning properly, vast apologies to those who have attempted to contact me over the past month. The issue was successfully rectified earlier this week.

Separation Anxiety is still down after seeming like a good idea to manage both blog and comic from a single login. I’m still not entirely sure why I hate myself so much and am at least 97% sure WordPress straight up wants to fight me at this point.

While I catch up on several weeks of emails it feels like as good a time as any to post another… erm… chapter of the infamous Saucy Fanfic. If nothing else, people should be less inclined to willingly contact me after reading it, which means fewer backlogged emails next time I fuckup a server mirgration.

I will die here without having screwed anything but my own fingers.”– The Saucy Fanfiction

The first chapter of this crack-shipping crossover atrocity was uploaded during 2014, though MaEmon originally penned it some 10 years earlier. Same goes for this instalment, though as a contributor I’m not in any position to be evading responsibility here.

A more reasonable person would just burn the fucking thing and be done with it.

Yet here we are.

Warning:
The Saucy Fanfiction was something MaEmon and I conceived during highschool.

Being the work of over-caffeinated sleep-deprived teenage pieces of trash, rest assured this is at best going to be juvenile and poorly written, and at worst downright offensive.

Possible triggers (for this chapter) include but are not limited to:
Dubious consent, xenophilia (in the science-fiction context), and ablutophilia. Not necessarily in that order.

This work is only to be viewed by persons over 18 years of age.
Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

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Let’s start living dangerously.

Please bear with me, the Asylum has experienced some down time recently as we are in the process of moving to new servers and it has been a ripe clusterfuck. Never underestimate my incompetence, friends.

Shout out to my long-suffering techsupport who managed to stick with me even after realising that I have no idea what DNS means. Domain Name Server, kids, remember that for me. I’ve been doing this for 10 years, trust me I am a professional.

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Setting fire to the sky.

On an overcast afternoon in January a group of about eight students, two assistants, two models, and one teacher took over a quiet local park for a costume photography workshop hosted by local friend and photographer Neil Creek.

Being that I’d managed to get Oberon’s trousers finished prior to the class it seemed like as good a time as any to field test them, albeit with a stronger goat flavouring.

Maria Bastin - Goat
| Photograph by Maria Bastin |

The goat was modelling alongside Asuna Yuuki of Sword Art Online (beautifully portrayed by the talented Ayuri Cosplay).

Maria Bastin - Goat & Asuna Yuuki
| Photograph by Maria Bastin | Sword Art Online – Asuna Yuuki by Ayuri Cosplay |

Fantasy costumes lent themselves well to the setting, and the two different styles gave the students plenty to work with.

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Dress me, I’m your mannequin.

It is a delight to inform you that the recent MAD Fashion Showcase went well! Extra special thanks going out to:

  • Von Chibi for offering me the opportunity to display some of her amazing work!
  • Cherry Pie Millinery as much for her breathtaking headpieces as for her ability to fasten one to my hair (or rather, lack thereof).
  • Emily Rose and her assistant for working their stunning hair and make-up magic.
  • The St. Kilda town hall for hosting the event.
  • The many hours of hard work put in by staff, volunteers, photographers, artists, designers, and performers who came together ensure the event could run as smoothly as possible.
  • Not to mention the support of the many attendees!

Team Chibi & Cherry
CJ, Hannah, Dayle | Cherry Pie Millinery & Von Chibi | Annie, myself | photographer – Tech Support

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